My mother scoffed and said, “I woke up at 5 a.m. every morning to do my chores before work!” Well, I also remember my mother spending more time cleaning than actually spending one on one time with my sister and I. I did not want to feel guilty anymore on Saturdays as I cleaned while my daughter sat in the pack‘n play. But if I blew off cleaning to play with my daughter, all I could do was stare at my dust bunnies and beat myself up. The week I had our cleaning help for the first time, it was a huge weight off my shoulders as I played with my daughter without any guilt. It was worth every penny. If you do have a financial issues, maybe just give yourself a break just once a month, and have one come in then. That will give you one weekend of freedom-a wonderful release.

As I discuss house cleaning, lets discuss standards. Part of the reason that I was up at all hours in what I know call my “crazy phase”, was because I had enormous expectations of myself. I expected my floors to be spotless for crawling babies. Well, you know what, there cannot be a perfect house when you have children if you hope to spend any time with them. I have had to make peace with the fact that there is a fine line between clean and a biohazard. As long as I am on the better half of that line, I am doing pretty damn good. You just can’t expect your house to be the same as it was before you had your baby. It will now forever be a tide of crumbs, plastic rubble, sippy cups, socks and dishes. The minute you pick up one room, the one you just finished is messy again. You can go insane, have a spotless house but never spend time with your children, or you strike a balance. A cleaning lady helps that balance.You also just need to relax a little and have realistic expectations to help your balance.

Now my daughter is 5, and I do have some other advice to just help with your crazy days, particularly if you are working mom like me. These tidbits I am about to share with you are ideas I have come across through much pain and suffering. If I can lessen yours, than I can ask for nothing more.

Keep a notepad in the car: My husband cringes at this, because he thinks I am not the best driver as it is. But I often remember things in the car when I am driving. I jot them down on a notepad at a stoplight, and bring the notes inside with me. It is very helpful.

God bless the slow cooker: Yes ladies. Dig up that box you got at your wedding shower, dust it off, pull it out and use it. If we plan to do a dish in the slow cooker for that week (see menu planning in helpful tips in the cooking section), I prep most of it the night before in the ceramic pot, wrap it in plastic wrap and refrigerate it. Then, as I am preparing lunches in the morning, I toss the bowl into the slow cooker and turn it on, and we are set. Dinner is waiting when I walk in after work. This is a busy Mom’s best friend.

The ongoing grocery list: This may sound simple, but boy does this help life. We keep a list on the refrigerator. When we are low on something or run out, we are trained to jot it down on the list immediately before we forget. Then as we do our grocery shopping, we always look at this list and add items we jotted down throughout the week. Nothing is worse than doing laundry and only having half a capful of detergent left. Or worse, no coffee in the morning. The horror!

Disinfecting wipes, a miracle from heaven: These rock. What did I do without these? Pull one out; wipe down your kitchen counters after dinner dishes and bam! Spic and span and disinfected too. They truly help you keep up on your cleaning tasks. They are also great for quick wipe downs of your bathrooms before unexpected guests arrive. I always keep a tub under each bathroom vanity so I can keep the bathrooms clean in between chore days or cleaning lady visits.

Be close to your job: This may not be the easiest thing to change, but seriously, think about this. If it is taking 2 hours a day to commute to and from your job, that’s time away from everything else you could be doing. That includes time for you and your children. If you really must commute, think about taking the train. During that one hour each way, you could use to read a book, catch up on letters and pay bills. Make that hour useful so you can cross those things off your to-do list before you even walk in the door. You can get to “kid-time” or “me-time” right away.

Make sure your husband helps: I am so lucky that I have a husband that is very involved and helpful. We take turns with dinners, pick-up and drop offs, dishes and laundry. If yours is not helping, give him a to-do list and get him moving. Now this goes for if you are a stay at home mom or not, but especially if you are a working mom. Just because you are the female doesn’t mean he turns off after a long day’s work and you don’t. That is complete nonsense. If both of you are helping bring home the bacon, it’s going to take both of you to clean it and fry it. Trust me.

Butler basket on the stairs: if you have a ranch, this may not pertain to you. But if you have stairs like me, this might help. We have a basket at the bottom of our stairs and one on the landing. When I see something that belongs upstairs, I pop it in the basket. When I go upstairs, I bring the basket and put things away, making my trip more effective. The basket then sits upstairs until ready to go down. Up and down they go all day. My husband has a saying, “Never go upstairs empty handed.”  (There was always something to be brought upstairs) This basket idea was my idea to make the trip more efficient. Pick a basket or box that matches your décor and your stairs. You will find your pile of stuff that needs to be put away blends in more until you can bring them where they need to go.

Leave one area of the house for toys: This is tricky because it depends on what size home you have and you need to teach your children the rules. But if you delegate one area of the house for toys, you and your husband will feel like a chunk of your home is still yours. I have seen so many friends whose homes look like one big playground. Grown ups need their space too. We have a playroom where we keep most of our daughter’s toys. We allow one small wicker basket of toys in the living room that she must clean up after she is done pulling stuff out. I allow playdoh to be kept in the kitchen (easier to clean up) and one small “project box” tucked away in the dining room. The rule is, if a toy comes down, it must go back up. This may seem very strict and selfish, but if baby or children’s things are overrunning your house, it is not good for your psyche at all. You and your husband need to be able to unwind and relax in a place of your own. It will do wonders to your stress levels when you can plop down on your nice couch without tripping over legos and squeaky toy.