I have also observed that children secretly want some structure and boundries. And you will to! I read in "the baby whisperer" book something that stayed with me. She said that your baby has come to join your family, and become a part of it. He is there to meld with the structure and routine that is set in place. It isn't the other way around. And the only way that happens is if you stay in charge. Don't let your toddler run the house. Your life will be in constant mayhem and chaos, and you will get so used to it that you will think it is completely normal. Now understand, life with a toddler, discipline or not, will involve some chaos! I guess how much chaos will be up to you.

I know there is a school of thought out there that believes that any discipline at a young age (under three) breaks the child's will to explore and their spirit. The thought is that you should allow them free reign of their environment (except when in danger), and to give them whatever they want. My husband and I decided not to go this route for a few reasons. First, habits start right out of the womb. So much research points to the fact that most children's "wiring" is being set under 5, particularly 0-3. If you wait until a child is four, you have a much harder road ahead of you. You are trying to set boundries now which that child never had to deal with for three years. So many habits have been established. They also have a belief that their world is their oyster. To teach them that, in fact, it isn't, seems that it would be very traumatizing to them. Also, children start testing your authority (or should I say theirs) as early as 6 months old. My daughter started tantrums at the ripe age of 9 months. If we did not start some sort of discipline, we would truly have a hellian on our hands right now. And finally, lets face it, how are you helping your child get prepared for the real world without setting some boundries early? In life, you can't touch everything and you don't always get what you want. You can't go to another person's house and climb all over the furniture and rummage through the drawers. You can't always get that spot on the team, that promotion or that  date for the prom. The sooner you help your child understand where they fit in their world (and be O.K. with that) the better they will be in their future. Its a long, gentle and loving process that I don't think ever ends...but if you start early, I believe the process can be even gentler and easier.

Now, "Some sort of discipline", what does that mean? It could mean so many things. I suggest you read up and try different tactics and ideas, and see what works for you and your child. I say YOU because you need to feel comfortable with it, and it needs to work. And as a child gets older, you might need to try stronger discipline (timeouts, etc.) What I have found is that this, like everything else in parenting, is a fluid process. It is always changing. As your child grows and tries new ways of exploring thier world, you will need new ways to set the boundries. When Carla was 9 months old and throwing a tantrum because she wanted a cookie, we ignored her or tried to distract her. It was hard. But, after a couple of weeks, she realized she had no audience. Or that she really did not want it all that bad to warrant all the exerted energy. She stopped doing it all the time. Now I have seen parents comfort and console a child having a tantrum. Even give the child what they were having the tantrum for. That just rewards bad behavior and teaches the child that if they keep it up long enough, they will get what they want. I wouldn't want to be around that child in a grocery store!

I am hesitant to share my discipline techniques with you, because what works for us might not work for you. I found "the Baby Whisperer for Toddlers" to be very helpful. I also keep up on Parent and Child publications, and I talk to my girlfriends a lot! One of my dear friends shared the one minute time out per year of age. That has been really helpful. (We use timeouts as a last straw). Good Luck! And remember, you do it because you love them.

There is always time for a decent meal for your toddler

You may not believe me, but take it from me (a working mom) you can make meals for your baby and toddler from scratch. A few other working mom friends of mine clued me in to some great books. They were able to cook for their babies, so I thought I should give it a shot. All it takes is a couple of hours on a Sunday once (or twice) a month, and a bunch of ice cube trays. When Carla was starting solids, I made all her purees. I used great recipes out of "The Healthy Baby Meal Planner" that actually included spices with the purees. My husband and I both enjoy cooking so these recipes appealed to us. The recipes were more diverse and flavorful than anything you could buy at the store. I would divide up the puree into the ice cube trays and freeze them overnight. I would then take the cubes out of the trays and store them in Ziploc Freezer bags (labeled with flavor and date) for the Nanny to use throughout the month.

When you make the food yourself, it has so much more flavor and nutrients than processed foods. Your child will really develop their tastebuds and learn to like green vegetables! Trust me! As your child grows, their palate will grow, and you can really keep her meals diverse and add various spices to them. We have found our daughter to have a very diverse palate now. She will eat Thai and Asian food with us, even cajun. It has allowed us to be very creative with her meals now that she sits with us at the table and eats what we eat. We make her tortollini which she can easily pick up with a fork (or fingers). We make our own chicken nuggets and freeze them. We make homemade meatballs in sauce and freeze them. You can freeze just about everything. It makes me feel really good to know that even though I can't be around my daughter all day, I am atleast providing a healthy and delicious meal. It's a little hug from me and my husband while we are at work.

The other plus about making meals from scratch is that it is so cheap! A couple of heads of broccolli is 2$ and would last you a month on a 9 month old. Compare that to 60 cents a jar, and you can see the savings. The other great plus to making your own food is that you know EXACTLY what's going into that meal. My baby's first year, I bought 95% of her fruit, vegetables and meats organic. I thought that if I put in so much energy and time into breastfeeding for 6 months, I would be silly to just jump to chemically laden food. I will tell you that my daugher almost made it to her first birthday without being on antibiotics once. In her 11th month she came down with her first ear infection. Up until then she was as healthy as a horse. I can't help but think that the combination of breastmilk with all organic, home-made food had a lot to do with that.

I know it is hard to block out a couple of hours on a Sunday, but try to. You will find it so worthwhile. And even when your child is older and you are trying to put dinner on the table for all of you. Make extra so your child can have some leftovers for lunch the next day. A home-made meal (even though they are left-overs) is so much better than spaghetti-o's or McDonald's any day!

With obesity being huge news nowadays, we as parents need to be very aware of our children's eating habits. There are many contributing factors to it, but I do believe that we as parents are not making time to cook for our kids. And I am not talking Kraft Macaroni & Cheese Dinner either. The time it takes to make REAL Macaroni & Cheese is probably 5-10 minutes more than making that box stuff. Get in the habit early, start them on a good eating regime when they start their first solids. You will look back on the time you sacrificed to cook and puree as time well spent. I promise. Nothing gives me more joy than to watch my daughter motion for extra spinach or extra broccoli.